There is a reason we fall in love with people we need to rescue.

Many of us grew up learning that love means taking care of others’ needs while neglecting our own. We became attuned to others’ pain before we could even name our own. We learned to earn connection by over-giving, fixing, and being needed. This became our blueprint for love.

We fall for people who need us, not for people who can truly meet us.

We fall for potential, for the wounded, for the unavailable, for those we can help, because being needed feels like safety when we grew up feeling invisible.

We think, “If I can love them enough, maybe they will stay. Maybe I will finally feel chosen.”

But love that requires you to abandon yourself to be loved is not love. It is an old survival pattern repeating itself, asking to be seen, held, and healed.

The day you realize this is the day something inside you finally stops hurting.

Because you no longer need to keep proving your worth through rescuing others. You realize you deserve a love that meets you, not just needs you. A love where you can receive, not just give. A love that feels safe, mutual, and alive.

Healing means choosing relationships where love is a shared offering, not a one-sided transaction built on your exhaustion.

If you find yourself constantly drawn to those who need fixing, it may be time to ask:

Where did I first learn that I must rescue others to feel loved?

What would it feel like to be loved without having to be needed?

What am I afraid would happen if I allowed myself to be fully met in love?

You are allowed to want a love that nourishes you too.

With warmth,🤍

Aniela