We got responsibilities instead of rest.

We learned to survive instead of play.

We became the strong one, the caretaker, the peacekeeper, long before we even understood what we were carrying.

And somewhere along the way, we learned to believe something that was never true:

“Maybe I’m just hard to love.”

So when someone finally gave you a little attention…

You gave them your whole heart. Your time. Your energy. Your nervous system.

Even when they were inconsistent.

Even when their presence felt more like anxiety than safety.

Even when you knew, deep down, they were not good for you.

I have heard that happened in the lives of many of my clients in therapy.

Why does that happen?

Because we weren’t just seeking love.

We were seeking to be chosen.

We weren’t just holding onto a person.

We were holding onto the hope that maybe this time, we’d be enough for someone to stay.

That maybe this time, we wouldn’t be left behind.

That maybe love would mean we finally get to rest.

Someone will see us. Will love us. Will choose us.

But love that costs you your peace isn’t love.

Love that keeps you in a cycle of proving and performing is not your healing, it’s your wounding being reactivated.

You are not hard to love.

You just learned to attach to pain that felt familiar.

But familiarity isn’t safety.

And you don’t need to earn what should be given freely.

You’re not hard to love. You don’t know how being chosen feels like.

Let this be the moment you choose you.

Let this be the beginning of loving yourself the way you always deserved to be loved.

And that way you can recognize true love when it finds the way to you.

May you no longer confuse intensity with intimacy.

May you choose peace over proving.

May you walk away from what hurts, even if it once felt like home.

May you remember you were never too much, never too hard to love.

With love,🤍

Aniela

#healingjourney 

www.MindfulTherapist.us

Photo: Pinterest