We all see around us people being hyper-functional and very independent. Many of them very proud of their independence and how they don’t need anyone in their life.

They do everything without needing anyone.

And they are alone.

And maybe, lonely.

The inability to receive support from others is not strength, it’s a wound that learned to protect itself.

That voice in you that says “I don’t need anyone, I’ll just do it all myself” is not your essence. It’s survival. A strategy your heart built to protect itself from pain, neglect, betrayal, and disappointment.

Maybe it began in childhood, when the parent you needed most wasn’t there, whether by absence, emotional distance, or the heavy weight of working multiple jobs just to fulfill basic needs.

Maybe it deepened in relationships where intimacy touched your body but never truly held your heart.

Maybe it grew through friendships where you gave and gave, but never felt received.

Maybe it solidified in the moments you were promised, “we’re in this together,” but were left alone to carry both your part and theirs.

So you learned to stop trusting.

You built a wall around your tenderness.

You told yourself, “Never again.”

This is what I know from both my own lived experience and years of sitting with people in healing: hyper-independence is not freedom, it is fear disguised as strength. It is a fortress built by a younger self who couldn’t risk heartbreak one more time.

The truth is, fortresses keep out the danger, yes, but they also keep out the love. No one can hold you when you’re behind your own armor.

And yet, this is not where the story has to end. Trauma that is seen and named can be softened, healed, and transformed.

Receiving support is not weakness.

It is safety.

It is trust being rebuilt, slowly, carefully.

It is your nervous system learning that not everyone will drop the ball. That there are people who can hold your heart and not break it.

You are worthy of support.

You are worthy of safe love.

You are worthy of a partner who says, “Rest, I’ve got this,” and then shows up.

You are worthy of friendships that nurture, not drain.

You are worthy to receive, simply because you exist.

You don’t need to prove it, earn it, or beg for it.

You are worthy. Always have been.

And healing is the slow, courageous act of letting someone in again, first yourself, then another, until love becomes safer than fear.

Can you ask yourself:

🔥 Where in your life do you still push love away, and what would it feel like to begin receiving, without guilt, without proving, simply because you are worthy?

May you lay down the armor that no longer protects you.

May you remember you don’t have to earn love.

May you learn the beauty of receiving, safe, steady, and true.

With love,🤍

Aniela

www.MindfulTherapist.us

Photo: Pinterest

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