You can’t heal your abandonment wound by trying to keep people from leaving. 

No amount of pleasing, performing, or holding on tighter will make someone stay. People will come and go. Relationships end. Life changes. But your healing is not in controlling who stays or leaves, it’s in learning how to stay present with yourself no matter what happens.

For many of us, the abandonment wound started early. We learned to shrink, to overgive, to be hyperaware of everyone else’s moods.

We learned to become perfect, invisible, or endlessly available, hoping we would finally be safe.

Those survival strategies were brilliant then, they protected a tender, young heart. But now, as adults, those same strategies often keep us from feeling the very safety and love we’re longing for.

Healing means turning toward the places you used to run from. There where you felt sadness, fear, worry. Instead of running away this, stay. Let them move through you.

It means breathing through the ache instead of numbing. Let the breath move what hurts.

It means letting someone witness your pain instead of hiding it. Talk. Open yourself. Suffering clears when is seen and heard.

It means offering yourself softness in the moments you want to shut down. Be gentle with your heart.

If you’re grieving a breakup or the loss of someone you love, this is not proof you’re broken,it’s proof your heart is alive and willing to feel. It’s a sign you’re healing the old wound by not abandoning yourself when life hurts.

You’re not “too much” for love. You’re not “too sensitive” for connection. You’re learning to trust again, first yourself, then others.

Over time, your nervous system softens, your heart steadies, and you begin to understand that your presence with yourself is the deepest form of safety you’ll ever know.

May you offer yourself the tenderness you’ve always needed.

May you remember that the one who truly never leaves you is you.

May you come home to yourself, again and again, until even loss feels like a doorway back to your own heart.

With love,🤍

Aniela